My Pets

HELLO it is my honor to tell you about ALL OF MY PETS. They live in my TWO BEDROOM APARTMENT so there is plenty of space.

Do not worry about their safekeeping that is MY JOB, NOT YOURS!!

i miss those days :(

Snuggles (RIP)

Snuggles was my loving, caring little fluffball. Yes she was.

YES SHE WAS!!!!

In 1998 she was EATEN BY THE LIONS

But I do not blame the lions. They eat puppies. AND THEY WILL EAT YOU TOO!

If Snuggles were still with us she WOULD BE BARKING AT YOU UNTIL YOU GAVE HER A TREAT!!!!

THIS IS WHERE MARCUS LIVES

Marcus Antonius

Marcus Antonius is the spider that LIVES IN THE CRAWLSPACE under the apartment building

I send neighborhood children to that crawlspace when they misbehave... and I NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN

YOU DO THE MATH

Stay away from Marcus!!!!

his smug face makes me want to PUKE

Steven Seagull

This is NOT my bird.

HE JUST FLIES IN THE WINDOW WHEN I LEAVE IT OPEN

THEN HE CRAPS ALL OVER THE PLACE

FUCK STEVEN SEAGULL. HE SUCKS!!!!

The lions get HALF the spare bedroom to themselves now!!

Leopard the Lion / Lizard the Lion (twins)

I told you about this already on the contact page already.

HOW MANY MORE TIMES DO I NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE GODDAMN LIONS!!!!

WHAT IS THIS?!!!?

"The Thing"

Whatever this creature is IT IS ALIVE.

I know it's moving when I'm not at HOME. It keeps stealing FRENCH FRIES out of my FAST FOOD BAGS.

YES I STORE OLD FAST FOOD IN BAGS BUT I PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE OKAY?!

And when I am at home THE THING'S EYE'S FOLLOW ME!!!!

WHY IS IT TORMENTING ME?!