Looking down from a U.F.O.

Did aliens build the Transamerica Pyramid?

Yes.

Really?

Yeah! Pretty crazy, right?

So where are the photos?

I can’t remember where I put them. But if I find them I’ll let you know.

Do transgender people have some connection with the Transamerica Pyramid?

According to many Transamericatologists, yes.

JESUS WORSHIPS THE MONSTANTO CORPORATION

How do we know that aliens built the Transamerica Pyramid?

Buddy, do you know how much it costs to make a website? You think I’d be burning through my life savings bringing this CRITICAL information to you if I wasn’t 100% CERTAIN that it’s factually correct? Please.

Can I send you all of my money right now?

YES.

One time I nearly choked and died on a Jolly Rancher.

OMG same here! There should be a warning label on those!!

ALIENS LIVE AMONG US

Nobody reads the warning labels, it's just victim blaming.

True, true.

I'm actually thinking of having my throat widened, so if I swallow one it won't get stuck.

Isn't that sort of extreme?

Well, snakes can swallow entire animals whole.

My son wants a pet snake. I'd get him one, but he lives with his mom most of the time right now.

look its a SNAKE!!!

That sucks. Are you and him close?

You know, we were close, but I feel like the separation has been having an impact on him. I'm not sure what to do. I just want him to have a happy childhood.

That's all you can hope for, really.

Yeah. Thanks for listening.

No problem. I'm glad we're able to have this conversation.

So do you have any more questions about the aliens, pyramid thing?

BEAM ME UP SULU

Oh right. So I thought the aliens only built the pyramids in Egypt?

TRUE.

But isn't the Transamerica Pyramid in San Francisco?

Well the three dimensions you and I can see are, YES. But there are another TWO dimensions that are actually located in the same space/time sectors as the pyramids of Giza, Egypt.

Not sure I understand?

That's bcause you are not reading your shampoo bottle when you're on the toilet, dumbass.

And what is this about drinking my own urine?

No comment.

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